Focusing in! and Out...

I realize that, for the past 6 months, this blog has been mostly focused on all the changes going on in my personal life. While a useful tool for keeping everyone up to date, that wasn't my original reason for starting BTTLG. Sometimes, one gets so consumed with their current circumstances, one loses track and just goes where the winds of change seem to be blowing them. Now that I have dropped anchor, and while I'm in a sort of getting-things-together limbo, I'd like to refocus my thoughts here and get back to what BTTLG is all about...

And what is that? What are the reasons I started writing in this way? Hmmm...

1 - Because I love discovering new things and sharing those dicoveries with others.
2 - Because there are wonderful people doing things out in the world who should be recognized for their efforts in the smallest of ways we can recognize them.
3 - It will be an account I can keep and pass down through the family.
4 - Because I love making "favorites" lists.
5 - I love having a place for people to find me and participate in a conversation even if they are miles away.

I realize that the content bounds from subject to subject, but so does my life, just as a child bounds from one game to the next. I have never been one to stay in one context for very long, and I tend to, as Henry David Thoreau puts so well, "live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign [myself] to the influences of each." It is those "influences" I like writing about. There are so many seasons, fragrances, drinks, and fruits to experience! This blog, ultimately, is an exercize in "play." I have a feeling, as I settle into my new circumstances, I will be a lot more playful than I have been in years!

So, in the coming days, I am going to reformulate a format that encompasses all of the above, giving myself the liberties of expansiveness and miscellany. I hope I continue to engage those of you who read, knowing that I can't please all of you all the time. If you are bored by knitting, for instance, an abiding hobby of mine, skip that entry and look to others. I'll try to organize by labels so you can find what you want to find. Also, in the next post, I'll give a synopsis of some likely recurring subjects. A "mind-map", if you will. And, if I die having never written well-structured and focused content, having never entertained as I strive to entertain, having no readers but myself and my "captured audience" - (friends and family), at least my decendants will have the babblings of an eccentric ancestor to puzzle over... which makes the whole passtime worth it in the end.

An introduction...

One thing you should know about me right off the bat: I am in love with the world. I love being here. I really do. The animals on this planet are just stunning! (Anyone who has seen the Nature program on Bower Birds will know exactly what I mean.) And the flowers... wow... nothing makes me happier than a yard full of jewelweed and daylilies. And words... aren't words great? I have so many favorite words! Here are a three of thousands: oubliette, ricochet, frisky.

I haven't always been this way. There have been times in my life when I wish I was living another life, somewhere in another story...

I grew up reading fantasy novels. My dad put Dragons of Autumn Twilight in my hands when I was about 8 years old and I fell into the world of books. Anything with the word Chronicle in it... I read. I loved books that would pull me out of the mundane world of school and, (sorry Mom), church to transport me to a place littered with fairies, elves, jabberwockies, or vampires. As a matter of fact, the only time my parents were called into a parent/teacher conference was due to the fact that I was reading too much in class.

The greatest tragedy of my young life was not discovering that Santa Claus wasn't real. It was when I finally had to admit to myself that dragons weren't real. It may sound silly, but I went though a period of profound sadness. I grieved over the non-existence of my favorite creature for quite a while. I think I was even a little angry at the universe. Life just seemed less majestic without them. But, soon, I had other things to think about like boyfriends and college applications.

I went though many years of small, grey, ordinary thoughts about the world. It just wasn't living up to my expectations! Where was the magic? Where were the heros? Where was the wise and noble mentor who would lead me into adventures that would bring out the nobility in me? Dammit, someone is just not writing this story correctly! *sigh*

Perspective.

Now there's a magic word.

(Doesn't quite have the poetic ring of Expelliarmus! does it?)

Somewhere in there, I finally got some perspective.

It was a mix of things really... a chemical reaction of different ingredients. The Landmark Forum. Joseph Campbell. Steve Irwin. Neil Gaiman. My family. My own desire to be an adventurer in an exotic world.

In the 9th grade, at the behest of the family doctor, my mom took me to get a pair of glasses. Those of you who have glasses or contacts will probably remember that wonderful moment when you put on your first pair. I couldn't believe that the world was actually that sharp, that crisp! I could see for miles! I had no idea backgrounds were actually as detailed as they were. It was a moment of pure delight.

Getting my perspective was similar to that moment, happening over a much longer period of time, but just as delightful. I see the world differently now. I see the magic in this world. A story is just as powerful as a spell. We don't have sorcerers. We have writers and speakers. We don't have unicorns. We have giraffes. We don't have transporters. We have the Internet. We don't have Sam and Frodo. We have Lewis and Clark, Amelia Earhart, Houdini, Marie Curie, Albert Einstein, Salah al-Din, Ferdinand Magellan, Joan of Arc, Cirque du Soleil...

I am not a hero. I am a seeker of wonders.

It's a great world. I'm glad I am here.